Jennifer wanted me to help her find confidence in herself.
You would have been confused if you saw her.
Jennifer looked like a successful, happy woman, on top of the world. She already appeared to be confident! She was pleasant, beautiful, and she was in a committed relationship with a man who loved her.
But inside, she was a different woman, and she didn’t know how to feel inside like the successful woman she looked like to the world.
When she opened up, it was clear that she was unhappy because she could not love the amazing man she had married – and who thought she was wonderful too.
What was going on? As I coached her, Jennifer revealed that she always resented her father for favoring her sister to her. As a child, she had taken that inside as a message that she wasn’t worth loving. As a grown woman, she had turned that around to become an AMAZING woman anyone would adore. But, she was still angry at her father for making her feel unworthy.
So how was this affecting her marriage, with a man who clearly DID love her passionately?
Sometimes, someone like Jennifer does not know that when they close their heart to someone, it cannot open fully to anyone else, not even to herself. Jennifer did not realize that holding on to her resentment towards her father made her feel unworthy to enjoy her beautiful body and the love from her husband.
Deep down she still thought she did not deserve to be happy. She was holding on to the sad memory of not having felt loved by her father.
It was a breakthrough when Jennifer realized that she could not change what happened nor her interpretation of what happened in the past. But she also realized that she could actually make a conscious decision NOW to release those feelings toward her father and open her heart. When she actually forgave her father for not showing more love and attention to her in the past, she felt lighter, as if a burden had been taken off her shoulders.
But there was still something holding her back from loving fully.
Unconsciously she did not trust her sister, and what’s worse, her own female body.
When she looked in the mirror she saw herself as ugly, instead of as the beautiful woman she really was. Her resentment at herself for not having had the courage to communicate what she was feeling to father then created the self-hate and the ugly picture.
It was harder for her to forgive herself then to forgive her father.
When she was ready, she allowed herself to be guided to a self-forgiveness process. Her eyes became luminous as she opened her heart fully to herself. It was easy then to love her husband. With her fully opened heart it was easy to feel happy, and that changed the perception of how she saw herself. She saw her own beauty.
For Jennifer, forgiveness was the transformational element.
Sometimes we know something is not right, we know we aren’t happy with where we are – or who we are – but we just can’t seem to figure it out.
A great coach can help you find the block that’s hiding from you, help you see it, and give you the tools to break through it!