Tantra is an ancient art of conscious and ecstatic living. There are many great insights and perspectives into Tantra that can further your understanding like Rose Surnow’s article on Cosmopolitan – How to Have Tantric Sex. 

I love helping people build passionate fulfilling relationships and sharing my knowledge on Tantra which uses different kinds of Breaths. Breaths to relax energy, control energy and expand it.

Breathing is an an indicator of our emotional health and as a way to help us improve our health and energy – how when we experience trauma we hold things in the body and that can be accessed through breath to release it.

I developed my own special technique, the Ocean Breath that I teach clients as a tool – What is the Ocean Breath? – how does it work – let’s look at the Karen’s experience for perspective…

When Karen first came in my door, she was so stressed that she could not sit still. 

She was constantly re-arranging her body while sitting on the chair. Her eyes were speedily scanning around in hyper-vigilance. Karen could not finish one sentence in her rush to get to the next one.

What she said came from rehearsed circular thinking in her head. She did not allow herself time to feel; she hated herself and especially her body.

She grew up with a self-righteous alcoholic father and a Catholic mother who did NOT allow herself or her children to feel, especially pleasurable feelings; those would bring you to hell.

Karen complained that she had a dark secret: she was 49 years old and she had never had an orgasm! All her friends told her of their great lovemaking, ending in the earthshaking orgasms they had. She wanted that too, before it was too late.

Whether they were telling her the truth or reciting what they read in Cosmopolitan, she believed them and guessed there was something wrong with her.

Talking to Karen did not seem the best approach. Because of her rigid beliefs she would just filter out my words. I had to try something more direct.

I could see that she was breathing high, shallow breaths, lifting her upper chest while her lower chest remained immobile, and her belly pulled in tightly as though she had to save her back from the strain of lifting a heavy weight. She was in a state of high stress. However although her muscles were quite tight, giving the illusion of strength, she was very low in energy.

I started her off with the Ocean Breath, a gentle yet powerful breath that takes people out of thinking and into their bodies in a very short time.

Although this technique is easy to learn, the resistance to it can be great. One of the skills of a guide is to create a safe space where one can feel supported in discovering emotional truths that are hiding from the conscious mind.

Karen’s first fear was that if she let herself feel, she might be swept away by her emotions… perhaps even become crazy. We looked at this feeling together, with kindness, and the fear started to diminish enough for her to achieve a relaxed state, deeper than ever before.

Karen continued breathing and finally surrendered to enjoying the feeling of pleasure in her body and a sense of acceptance that she never felt before. By the end of the session, she had transformed her urgency into an explosive orgasm and discovered a calm confident acceptance…  that having orgasms is natural when you allow yourself to just feel and be present.

Riding on the waves of the breath becomes easy to integrate the transformative truth that you are more than your thought and your feelings.

With the Ocean Breath, Karen reached a place where she felt the flow of her energy, free of the constantly interfering mind. Until she released the blocks against pleasure she had inherited, she could not be present to feeling pleasure in her body. Being present in your body feeling the energy flow and an open heart is an orgasmic experience.

You can feel sensuous and emotional nuances that you would never pick up if you were speeding toward a mental goal – to reach some other state.  Instead, it creates a feminine, relaxed presence.

This breath awakens the feminine energy in lovers, and offers ways to uncover your natural state of bliss that is too often clouded by your limiting beliefs and the problems they cause. The Ocean Breath is one of the most important Tantric tools that unblock energy that is suppressed and therefore interfere with the flow of sexual energy through the Chakra system. It’s a very gentle, yet powerful.

This priceless tool, that life offers us for free, is underutilized. I often ask  myself how breath would be used and appreciated more if it were sold and a high price.

Whether you are looking to expand your vital energy into erotic, spiritual ecstasy or live consciously, breath is key.

This unique technique opens you up for love and close feelings. In this state is easy to communicate anything. When you are free and open up like that… your sexual energy flows effortlessly and freely. There isn’t any stress to perform or expectations to fulfill. Just gazing into your lover’s eyes, can take you ecstasy.

As Elise Carr wrote nicely on Mind Body Green, of the importance of gazing into each other’s eyes. Elise mentioned looking into their right eye. I prefer the left eye because it refers to the right side of the brain (on a right handed person) which is linked to the spatial, emotional side of the brain. It’s really connecting with the receptive, nonjudgemental eye. If your partner is a left handed person, their left eye would be their nonjudgemental eye. 

The Ocean Breath helps you become aware if something needs to be expressed in order to be present to the love that it always there if not covered up by thoughts, fears, and expectations.

With tantric coaching, you can maximize your access to and expression of your life force.

My evolution as a Tantra and Relationship coach grew over 30 years of working with people who want and strongly desire to know the skills that deepen their intimacy.

If you are interested in taking your relationship to the next level, visit CarlaTara.com to learn about my relationship coaching services. 

You can download a free audio of the Ocean Breath incorporated into a meditation by visiting carlatara.com and signing up for the free newsletter.