When you are a baby, you have no trouble communicating with your body and with your voice.
You scream when you are hungry, you smile when you are happy. That smile opens the heart of the one looking at you. This communication is genuine, no covering up your emotions, no wanting to appear better than you are.
When you look at a baby, you see a uniqueness, a spark that YOU still have inside of you. However, it’s covered up by rules about gender, family beliefs, community, religion, and all the external judgements we collect in our life as adults.
Communication in spoken and written language, is a great step forward when used to speak the truth as it is. But too often, communication is used to distort or cover up the truth in order to appear better, or smarter than we think we are.
What if you could maintain the authenticity of a baby when you use language?
You do not have to scream when you are hungry, but saying clearly you are hungry when you are will open up the possibility for you to get what you want.
But what about “being polite”?
Of course, in certain countries the host is supposed to offer tea or food when a visitor shows up. However, if the visitor knows the rules, they say “no, thank you”. Being authentic does not mean you need to break social rules.
Authenticity is essential when you are with people you love and trust. But often it feels so difficult to say what we really feel.
Why is it so hard to speak the truth?
It could be how we learned to communicate as children.
When you grow up in a family where mother and father yell at each other and they take out their frustration on the children, your needs are not being considered. If you are a child in a dysfunctional family you might just “swallow the bitter, and express the sweet” as some of us learned to do in order to survive.
Or if you grew up in an abusive family, you learned to swallow painful imprints and stay in hiding to avoid a beating.
But even in less extreme cases we get into the habit of communicating only partial truths in order to “save face”, or to appear better than we think we are. The problem with that partial truth telling, is that you always know that you’re hiding.
And that leads directly to a lack of confidence in yourself. ”. It even has a name – the “imposter syndrome.”
You start believing that there is something wrong with you, and you feel you have to hide the real you or other people will judge you as imperfect or less than – or not worthy to be loved. And you hide more and more behind that fake version of the perfect you.
But when you do that, you close off the genuine expression of our soul that wants to experience love and to be loved as you are, not as you try to appear.
We all have different needs and desires.
Communicating your needs for safety, your need for connection, for example is not being needy – it’s being HUMAN.
Coaching helps you uncover your genuine self and increase your confidence.
When you bare your soul to yourself and to your loving partner, you are unapologetically your true self. This will give you the confidence to be brave with all the people in your life.
Are you tired of feeling you are never good enough?
Are you tired of hiding from your family, your friends, your loved one?
Are you tired of hiding from YOURSELF?